Today’s article is going to be different than the typical scientific articles that I post. Being in practice with patients has helped me to realize that we all have a ton of information, we are in an era where the currency of knowledge is richer than ever. Yet still, we struggle to implement it. Yes, it is because of overwhelm, yes, it is also because we don’t know what is right for us as individuals, but it is also that we are not taught to challenge our own belief systems.
Anyone who has been in my office has likely heard that coaches need coaches and that I love my therapist! This is because my coaches and therapists have helped me to challenge my beliefs. This is an ongoing practice, it’s a daily task. This is also what my most successful patients have in common, they challenge their beliefs!
Today, and every few weeks for the next little while, I want to play with sharing some of my coaching experiences with you. One, because as I head into a new round of coach it is top of mind, but two, because heading into the fall, and into the new year we have a lot of ambition to make changes. Ambition that can start and end there if we are not planning ahead! I hope you enjoy this little change. As always, let me know!
Do you often find yourself saying you don’t have time, or you don’t have the ‘discipline’ to do something?
First you need to know what you want to do!
For me, when I was in the thralls of book writing I wanted so badly to get back my consistent gym routine but I kept thinking, I have no time for it!
What is the implicit belief here?
In what I said above, can you find the belief?
The belief is, going to the gym is good for me. But right now it is hard, and I have no time.
Take one second, what is your implicit belief about your goal?
Do you want to make time to meal prep going into the fall, or get back into your gym routine? Do you think it will be helpful, that you will feel better?
Of course you do!
But do you feel like there is no time?
This felt like the truest truth I had ever heard. That was until someone forced me to really look at it. Asking those oh so lovely, but challenging questions!
Think about what that means!
With every moment that you consciously, or subconsciously say, I should do that, that would be helpful, but I don’t have time. The message you are sending to yourself is
“I don’t have time to help myself. I am less important than _____”
That is a belief, it is not a truth.
To be honest, you are making the choice to NOT make the time for yourself. I know it may not feel like a choice right now, because it is something that has been engrained deep within your subconscious.
Finishing that project is more important then taking care of myself.
Supporting that friend is more important then taking care of myself.
Taking my kid to soccer is more important then myself.
The examples could go on and on.
Sit with this though, if you don’t take care of yourself will you be able to do your best work? Support the people you love? Be a role model to your kids?
The key is to ask this question and sit with it without judgement, without negative self talk.
Think about this, journal it out, talk it out with a friend. Work through it until you realize that this BELIEF is actually a choice, not a truth.
What did I do when I had these thoughts?
I checked in with my BELIEF and made a plan to set it straight. I realized that I was putting off going to bed, chatting too long with my husband, reading too long or watching one too many re-runs of American Ninja Warrior. This kept me up too late, sleeping in and missing an ideal work out window. Even if I went to sleep 15min earlier and woke up 15min earlier I would be able to fit in a short workout in the morning.
And just like that, I made the day longer! J.
Not so much, I just changed my beliefs about the time I had, and ta da! Work out achieved.
Today I challenge you to look for 15 minutes for yourself.
Did you eat lunch away from your desk?
Did you wake up and drink water?
Think about this? How do we spend our days?
Again, this is not a judgement! Practice just seeing it.
If you are doing these things then that is amazing!
What about stress reduction? Resting, reading, taking a bath for 15min per day.
